Falling on his sword
by chappers
Summary: This idea popped into my head, I admit I love to see my favourite characters suffer, a bit of angst. If someone gets hurt by your actions when you didn't know what you were doing, are you responsible, even when the one you hurt forgives you? Of course Mick thinks so. Just a short story set in my Mick/Lee universe.
1. Chapter 1

a/n – so I was watching an old episode of CM and they mentioned soldiers with PTSD strangling their wives in their sleep (I assumed the soldiers were sleeping) and after reading Maleshka's incredible Paying the Ferryman and another great Mick fic, called Rough Night. I got to thinking about my AU pairing of Mick and Lee. And then the light bulb came on, how would Mick react if he accidentally hurt her during a nightmare? I couldn't see him handling it well, plus I loved the thought of his interaction with Sam. I really fell in love with this little story, I know there's some stuff I haven't covered here that I could have, but I wanted to keep it simple and straightforward. Plus it means I have potential material to use in future.

A blow to her arm woke Lee abruptly. Groggy from sleep it took her a moment to figure out what was going on. Next to her Mick tossed and turned, mumbles turning to a shout as he called to someone to get out of there, calling out in Arabic suddenly, his arms thrashing. Clearly in the midst of a terrible nightmare, his face twisted in fear. Desperate to help him Lee called his name, reaching out her hand to shake his shoulder, and pulling back again as an un-aimed arm came her way.

"Mick, wake up, please Mick, you need to wake up."

Moving in a little closer this time, trying to avoid his flailing limbs, but wanting to snap him out of the horrors that were overwhelming him Lee reached in with both hands, shaking his shoulders, calling his name. But the move had left her exposed and this time she didn't move quickly enough as a fist connected with the side of her face. Crying out in pain and shock, she withdrew. Hand held to her now painful eye she considered her other options, throwing water on him seemed a little cruel, but as she debated this the panic seemed to subside in him. Perhaps connecting with something real had somehow broken the cycle of the dream, the sensation of hitting actual flesh translating itself as a victory in whatever struggle Mick had been having.

Whatever, the nightmare now seemed to be over and Mick settled back down into normal sleep, apparently unaware of the real event that had occurred. Straightening the covers over him and hoping that the fist hadn't done too much damage, Lee lay back down and tried to return to sleep herself.

Lee had a far better awakening the next morning, the smell of cooking bacon wafted through the apartment and sniffing appreciatively she opened her eyes.

Or at least tried to, one didn't co-operate. Grimacing she remembered the events of the night, hoping that Mick would stay in the kitchen area she quickly scooted into the bathroom and checked out the damage in the mirror. It wasn't a pretty sight, her left eye was swollen shut, bruising just beginning to appear.

"How on earth am I going to hide this from Mick?" she muttered, aware that he would be inconsolable at having hurt her.

Hoping to put the moment off somehow she hopped into the shower, maybe if she dragged it out enough he'd leave for work without seeing her? She knew it was a forlorn hope, even if she avoided him this morning the bruise would be spectacular by tomorrow.

"Hope you're hungry, I made breakfast"

Mick's cheery voice sounded through the door, she couldn't stay in there forever. Wrapping a towel around her wet hair, she arranged it so it flopped half over her face and headed back into the bedroom where she pulled on a t-shirt and sweat pants, trying not to dislodge the towel.

"Morning sunshine" He greeted her, moving in for a kiss. "Starting a new fashion are we?" He joked looking at the towel headgear, drooping over one side of her face.

He reached up to grab the towel, before she could pull away he'd grabbed it playfully and lifted it up.

"Peek- a-b…. what the hell!" he exclaimed as he saw the shiner hidden beneath. "How did that happen?"

Lee panicked and said the first thing that came to mind,

"Walked into a door" she said shrugging and trying to brush it off, mentally kicking herself, there was no way he was going to fall for that stupid line. Pulling away from him, she headed for the food on the counter. "Come on, foods getting cold."

But Mick wasn't having it, gently grabbing her arm, he stopped her and examined her eye closely.

"That's from a fist, but how…" Mick trailed off.

He knew from way too much experience how long it would take for an eye to reach that stage, and he also know Lee had been with him the whole time. A look of horror spread across his face and he released her arm stepping back, remembering the nightmare.

"It was me, wasn't it, I did that."

"Please Mick, it's nothing, I just didn't duck fast enough" she pleaded with him as he threw his hands up in the air and began to pace the apartment "it's ok Mick, you didn't know what you were doing!"

"And that makes it ok, does it?" Mick replied harshly, sarcastically.

"Please Mick, I'm fine."

"How can you be fine, I can see what I did to you! I don't get how can you be so calm about this, why you would try to hide it from me?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this and I didn't want you to. Why can't you see that this wasn't your fault…"

He cut her off, "Not my fault, then who's fault is it?!" he almost shouted.

Lee opened her mouth to speak, to try to get through to him somehow, but he held a hand to stop her.

"I need to get out of here."

Turning his back to her, so as not to be reminded of what he'd done, Mick gathered up his keys, coat and bag.

"I'm going to work." He said, back still to her.

Without looking back he opened the door and was gone.

For a while she just stood, staring blindly at the now cold food, a reminder of the train wreck the morning had just turned into. Blinking back tears Lee wondering how on earth she could fix this.

Then she pulled herself together and moved with purpose, she might not be able to fix this, but there was someone else that could. At the very least he should know what was about to walk through his door.

Feeling glad that she'd stored Agent Cooper's number on her phone when he'd given it to her in the aftermath of the Jenkins case, she made a beeline for her handbag.

"Sam, it's Lee..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Lee, everything ok?" Coop was puzzled at why she was calling. Beth and Prophet looked up, immediately curious.

They watched as Sam listened for a while, nodding and looking serious.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

Proph and Beth exchange worried looks.

"Yeah I understand, I'll talk to him, you just look after yourself, ok?"

"What's going on?" Beth asked as soon as he hung up.

She and Simms had to wait though as Sam didn't acknowledge her, instead staring down at the table, tapping his phone against it, lost in thought. Suddenly he snapped his attention to them.

"Mick had a nightmare last night."

Thinking back over what they'd seen on the job and what Mick must have seen and done in his previous career in the military, Beth and Simms knew that there was plenty of material for those, and that it must have been bad for Coop to be telling them about it.

"Is he ok?" Prophet asked

"That's kind of the problem," Coop paused. "Lee tried to pull him out of it, but didn't duck quickly enough."

They both winced.

"Yeah, so Mick gets up this morning to find Lee has a black eye and he has no memory of it happening."

"And we can imagine how he reacted to that." Beth stated.

"Precisely, she tried to persuade him there was no harm done, but that just made it worse, now he's on his way here and she's hoping I can talk some sense into him."

"Good luck with that." Beth said bluntly, but not unkindly, she had an idea of how Mick might be feeling right now, for all of his joking around, something like this would have hit him pretty hard.

"Is there anything we can do?" Simms asked.

"It's probably best I talk to him alone."

"Message received and understood." Proph stood up, "coffee and doughnuts anyone?"

He took their requests and then strolled out.

"I'll head out too then." Beth headed for the office door.

They could hear Prophet greeting Gina at the outer door.

"Thanks Beth, can you fill Gina in on your way out?"

Beth nodded, "I'll take her with me," she paused at the door and then turned back "maybe we should take a drive over to Mick's place, check in on Lee? She could probably do with someone to talk to right now."

Sam smiled appreciatively, "Good thinking."

She returned his smile and left, Sam could hear her with Gina and then silence. Feeling the need to be moving whilst he thought, Sam headed for the gym floor and began working through some moves.

He didn't have to wait long before Mick wandered in. One look at his face and demeanour told Sam enough.

Mick looked around, puzzled, "am I the first one here?" he asked.

"Prophet went for coffee."

The younger man narrowed his eyes at Coop, before shaking his head in frustration, "great, she rang you didn't she!"

"Of course. She's worried about you Mick"

The laughter that came out of the younger man's mouth wasn't amused, "she's worried about me Coop! That just makes it worse somehow." He paused, pacing the gym mat, "I mean, she's the one with the black eye and she practically apologises to me for not ducking fast enough!" he stopped moving, the feelings suddenly too much. "I hit her Coop, I, hit, her, hard enough to give her a black eye." Mick stopped talking, staring at Sam, overwhelmed by what had happened.

"Did you mean to hit her?" Sam finally asked, keeping his tone soft.

Mick paced the mat, running his hands through his hair, before turning to frown at Sam, "what does it matter if I meant to hit her Coop, I still hit her!"

Sam hated to see his friend in so much pain, trying to find a way to get through to him, he decided to change tack.

"Lee's a strong woman, yes?"

Puzzled Mick just nodded, Sam took this as a good sign.

"Do you think she'd have still been in your apartment this morning if she believed that you had beaten her up? Do you think Lee would have stood for something like that?"

Mick thought back to when he'd met her, how she'd held it together through all of that danger, protected him. He slowly shook his head.

"No she wouldn't"

"So then trust her Mick," Sam spoke softly "you're hurting her Mick"

Mick closed his eyes in pain and turned away from him, but Sam reached out stopping him from walking away.

"Let me finish!" Sam softly emphasised, wanting to get his point across. "She's hurting because you are. The pain of seeing you tear yourself apart over this, is far worse to her than a black eye."

He got right into Mick's face, trying to show him how sincere he was, that he wasn't just saying this to placate the younger man.

"She loves you that much Mick. That's a rare thing. Don't throw it away on some misplaced sense of chivalry."

Mick was silent for a moment, thinking over Sam's words, Coop just let him think, eventually the younger man gave a ghost of a smile.

"Thanks man."

Sam pulled the younger agent into a hug, patting his back before breaking apart, Mick looked more settled now and Cooper returned his smile.

"You're welcome, just don't be so hard on yourself, ok?"

"Hope I'm not interrupting?" Prophet had returned carrying boxes and cups. "I brought coffees, doughnuts and pastries."

"Sounds good" Sam replied and nodded his head to Simms' unspoken question, letting him know all was fine again.

"I think I saw the girls pulling up outside."

He was right because Gina and Beth were just behind him.

"Now I know it's against protocol, but I figured we should make an exception, so we brought a visitor with us."

Gina and Beth stepped apart, Lee stood behind them. She looked at Mick, trying to gauge his feelings, what she saw reassured her and so she went to his side.

"Hey babe." He greeted her softly, awkward in front of his team mates.

Trying to hide their grins at his discomfort, Prophet waved the boxes of pastries and doughnuts.

"Follow the food people!"

Beth narrowed her eyes, turning her head to look pointedly at Mick, as she did as Prophet said and followed the food.

"For once we can get at those doughnuts before Mick scoffs the lot." She remarked at a stage whisper to Gina, who laughed.

Mick jumped around, he couldn't resist responding to that one "Hey, I don't eat that many!"

"Really!" Beth stopped and raised an eyebrow sarcastically, Prophet and Gina both had variations of amused disbelief on their faces at his statement.

In the face of their collected scepticism Mick crumpled, "okay, so maybe, just maybe, once or twice I might have eaten one doughnut…"

"Uh-hmm." Beth glared.

"Ok … two … more than my share, but seriously guys I was hungry and they tasted so good."

Rolling their eyes and laughing in reply, the rest of the team headed into the office with the food. Mick turned back to Lee, who was laughing out loud at their antics, relieved at the sign that Mick had found his good humour again.

Moving in close to her, he brushed the hair away from her eye, examining it carefully, he went to speak, but she put her hand over his mouth.

"Stop, it wasn't your fault, ok?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Hush. You remember I said I wanted more than a one night stand." He nodded, confused. "Well, I meant what I said. I knew what I was going to be in for and I think you're worth it. I love you for who you are and what you do for others, so trust me when I say that I'm ok with something and _never_ apologise to me for the demons that come as part of what you do."

"No ma'am."

"Just please don't walk away from me like that again, whatever happens, please talk to me, or don't talk to me, just don't walk away like that."

"Am I allowed to say I'm sorry, for that?" He asked.

"Yes, and I forgive you" reaching up she kissed him to prove it.

Smiling he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close, but making up properly would have to wait for later when they were alone again, for now though -

"Want to see if they've left us any doughnuts?"

"Hell yeah!" She grinned as, with his arm moved to around her shoulders they both headed for the steps.

"I could show you how I can fit a whole doughnut in my mouth."

"Ewww." She pulled a face, making him laugh.

Watching them through the blinds and munching on the food, the team exchanged satisfied glances. Crisis over, all looked to be good again for the young sniper.


End file.
